Webcomic Chapter 12 Posted

Chapter 12 (pages 364--382) of Breakout from Bongolaan is now available.

The pace at where I work didn't slow down any since my last chapter posting.

Not only that, but Chapter 12 was originally much longer than it currently is.  As the page length lengthened, I ended up dividing the narrative into more chapters as I found more appropriate stopping points.  So this part of the story grew from Chapter 12 and 13, to Chapter 12--14, and finally to Chapter 12-15.

By the time I reached this point, I decided to quit writing additional material and work on editing and revising.

By the time I was satisfied with most of my recent work, I did some final tweaking of Chapter 12.

My "cunning plan" is to do the similar tweaks to Chapters 13 and 14 within the next couple weeks and then post them.

Which brings me to Chapter 15.  I'm not currently happy with it.  I feel this portion will require some major re-writing, but I'll wait until Chapter 14 is posted before I even start.

In my last webcomic update, I said I'd launch a new format for Breakout from Bongolaan by 4 January 2016.

Well, I'm afraid I have to postpone the launch date.  With the little time I've had to spare, I devoted it all to getting these chapters written.  I'm hoping the delay won't be more than a month.  I appreciate your patience.

For this chapter's theme song, I chose Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.

You might think this is an odd choice for a chapter's mood music, especially since Star Wars is and epic  space opera, not a space western, like Firefly.

But I think the song fits for a few reasons.  First, in this chapter Callithea expresses her desire to return to her home planet.  This segways into a hint of what society on Callithea's home world, Tarsus, is like.  Finally, our heroes are essentially planning for a "road trip--IN SPACE," and depending on what list you read, Home ranks anywhere from #13 in Paste Magazine to #1 on BuzzFeed.

Merry Christmas!

(Image from:  History: Topics--Christmas)

Best wishes to all of you this Christmas Day.

The Force Awakens Sails Past Monday Sales

(Image by Steve Breen)

The Force Awakens broke another record a couple days ago:  The Monday after opening weekend box office sales.

It's the most talked about movie on-line, on-air and in personal conversations.

I haven't seen the movie yet, although my wife got reserve tickets at a luxury theater in Seattle--for mid January.

Fortunately, everyone has avoided divulging the plot.

This hasn't stopped memes from popping up on social media, like this one on Facebook...

...warning of the consequences for lacing their conversations with plot spoiler.

When I shared the Yoda meme on Facebook, one of my friends replied with this:

I hope those of us who've yet to see the movie can maintain their "spoiler shields."

Book Review: Fifteen Hours

For my second foray into Warhammer 40,000 (WH40K) literature, I chose Mitchel Scanlon's Fifteen Hours.  This story follows 17 year old Arvin Larn, from his involuntary induction into the Imperial Guard to his frontline experiences during the Siege of Broucheroc, an industrial city surrounded by Orks.

The first three chapters introduce us to the main character, his family, and his in-transit training with the 14th Jumael Volunteers.

By the end of Chapter Four, Larn finds himself the sole survivor of the 6th Company, after they were directed--by mistake--to make planetfall near Broucheroc, and ended up crash landing in no-man's land (Chapter Five).

In Chapters Six through Seventeen, our hapless hero learns the significance of fifteen hours:  It is the life expectancy of a new recruit to Broucheroc.  During these 12 hours, Larn faces Ork snipers, friendly fire, some unfriendly team mates, incompetent officers, bad food, an all-out Ork assault, and a night patrol into no man's land.

Technically, Larn survives past 15 hours to see the dawning of a new day--but his fate is not a happy one.

Basically, Fifteen Hours is WH40K's version of All Quiet on the Western Front--and just as depressing.

The author paints a grim picture on what life for an Imperial Guardsman on the frontlines is like.  But this is in-keeping with all the WH40K background material found in the core rulebooks and supplements, known as "codexes."


I give Fifteen Hours a 3-star rating, primarily because of the downer ending. 

My rating is only 0.7 less than the average rating on Amazon.com, with only 61% of raters loving the story (4 & 5-stars).  Many of the unsatisfied raters (1 & 2-stars) were critical of the author's writing, whereas I thought the author did a good job with this being his first novel.

I just wanted to see the hero prevail over "...the grim dark future."

As an aside, the cover art of my copy of Fifteen Hours is pictured above.  The problem with it is, Larn doesn't go "mano-a-orko" against an ork warboss. 

So the heroic image is misleading.

There's an alternate cover, but so far I can't determine if it's from an earlier or later edition.  While it's more appropriate to the story, there's a 39% chance, based on the 1-3 star raters on Amazon, that it won't improve one's reading experience.

The Force Has Awoken!

(Image from:  Star Wars.com Theatrical Poster)

By now, thousands of fans have probably seen midnight showings of Star Wars:  The Force Awakens.

From initial accounts at the premiers in Hollywood and London, audience response has been enthusiastic.

It will be about a month before I see it due to my wife's and my own work schedule.  But at least we have reserved seats in a deluxe theater!

In the meantime, I submitted my picture of my Tantive IV fighting a couple of TIE fighters to the Seattle Times.  It was included in the gallery of an article asking Star Wars superfan? Share pictures of your favorite collectibles.

(Image:  From my Tantive IV product review, and Picture #3 in the article's gallery)

For those who'll see the movie before I do:  I hope the movie and the big-screen experience was everything you hoped it to be.

Upgrading the Millennium Falcon

Part of the appeal of science fiction in general, and Star Wars in particular, is the ability to roam the galaxy at ludicrous speed.

So for a Star Wars role playing game (RPG), acquiring a starship, but not necessarily "buying" one, is a critical goal for player characters (PCs) starting out on their misadventures.

If you're involved in a game which relies heavily on miniatures, representing a starship can be difficult.  While two-dimensional deck plans or graph paper, while effective, loses "cinematic appeal."  Models specifically made in typical "RPG Scale" (usually 15-35mm Scale) are invariably scratch-built by talented modelers, like Maker.e2oGame.

For those of us lacking talent and patience to construct our own ships, we turn to toys.

For my, now dormant, Redshift Chronicles Campaign, my friend Joe placed his Millennium Falcon Playset in my care, which was utilized on a couple of adventures.

(Utilizing the same Ink-Sketch program as in my Breakout from Bongolaan webcomic)

The playset isn't exactly to scale as my Star Wars Miniatures, but I figure starships are suppose to be big anyway.  Besides, there's enough room inside to get interior pictures.

(Han Solo and Chewbacca making last-minute repairs before taking off)

I've had Joe's 'Falcon for a few years now.  During this time, I've made half-hearted inquires about buying my own, but have balked at the "Collector's Edition Prices."

However, two events motivated me to acquire my own 'Falcon.

First, we're just 10 days away from the premier of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

Which means Star Wars merchandise has deluged the market long before the movie appears on the silver screen.

And second, Joe is now the father of two little boys.

I reached my decision point a couple weeks ago, when I stumbled across Hasbro's "Force Awakens" Millennium Falcon, while Christmas shopping with my wife.  (Isn't it amazing how you manage to find gifts for yourself when shopping for others?).  I was hesitant to buy it, but my wife assured me it was okay, thus salving my guilty conscience, and the Base Exchange (department stores on military installations) was knocking off $25 for purchases of $100 or more as part of their "Black Friday Weekend Sale."

The price tag on this new 'Falcon alone qualified me for the discount.

I haven't opened it yet, since we've been busy putting up Christmas decorations.

Yes, at the risk of loosing some of the collector's value, I do intend on opening the box, because I want to have the ship "ready for flight" for any future Star Wars RPG/skirmish adventures.  But my "cunning plan" is to open it carefully and keep all the parts I won't utilize, in order to maintain a decent portion of any possible collector's value.

One possible point of concern is the new 'Falcon looks smaller than the older one, but I'm hoping it may be more appropriate for my Star Wars Miniatures I use.

In any case, I have a new 'Falcon, Joe gets his old one returned and he'll get to experience all the parental joys of watching his two boys fight over play with an iconic toy.

Everybody wins!

Book Review: Gunheads

Despite my continued resistance, I'm finding myself slowly drawn into the futuristic hell of Warhammer 40K (WH40K).

Over the Thanksgiving Weekend, I finished my first WH40K novel--Gunheads, by Steve Parker.

I bought my copy at Half Price Books along with a handful of the initial stories in the Gaunt's Ghosts Series.

I chose to "test the WH40K waters" with a one-of novel instead of plunging into a series within a setting I have mixed feelings about. 

Gunheads is one of over a dozen Imperial Guard novels.

These books are directed towards WH40K fans, and are written by WH40K fans.  Based on my neophyte experience with the game's rules, Steve Parker seems to have a good grasp of the details of this uber-dystopian future.

While there's a plethora of WH40K novels, I remain only interested in the "ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances" stories. Tales of the Imperial Guard are like the Red Army--IN SPACE.  I felt great sympathetic towards the men and women doing the fighting and dying--mostly the latter--but held many of the leaders in contempt.

Gunheads is about the mission of the 18th Army Group Exolon, who find themselves on an Ork-infested planet attempting to retrieve the super-heavy tank, Fortress of Arrogance.

(Image found on This Is Not A True Ending Archive--Traditional Games)

Initially, I thought sending thousands of men and hundreds of tanks on a quest to recover an old tank was a lame plot device.  While this is in-keeping with the superstition and reverence Imperial citizens have towards technology,  I was relieved after reading further that many of the officers and men felt they were on a suicidal fool's errand. 

Overall, I liked Gunheads, which has an average 4.3-star rating on Amazon.com.  Only one reviewer, an active duty armor officer who thought the portrayal of the soldiers and tank battles fell short, gave the book a 1-star rating. 

I'm only giving the novel a 3-star rating for a couple of reasons. 

First, the author spread himself thin, by not focusing on Sergeant Wulf and his tank crew, as advertised on the back cover.  The story is about a massive planetary expedition on a combat retrieval mission.  Wulf wasn't even instrumental to the mission's success, but merely a participant.

Second, I'm still not a complete fan of the WH40K 'verse.  It's hard for me to muster enthusiasm about an interstellar empire that employs Inquisitors and Commissars to weed out heresy and maintain morale. So the only reason why I even care for some of the Imperial Guardsmen is because some of their fellow humans in other branches of the Imperium of Man, along with all the other alien species, range from just-as-bad to a-whole-lot-worse.

The more of a WH40K fan you are, the more you'll like Gunheads, and I'm sure all the other works found in The Black Library.

(Image found on Apocalypse40K)

Happy Thanksgiving!

(Image from:  iHomes, Thanksgiving Decorations)

In case you're wondering how to best cook your bird, along with some amusing anecdotes, here's some advice and stories from the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line.

Welcome to Khaliat Min Bus!

(A small village in a desolate land)

I finally finished one of my most challenging projects of the year. 

This North African village was one of the largest items I purchased during my Enfilade! "fly-by."

Available from Ray Sam's Fine Architecture, via Monday Knight Productions, the resin-made village consists of six buildings on a large base.

(A top-down view of the village)

After spraying on the primer, I painted the entire model brown.  Then came the challenging part:  painting the doors and windows on the individual buildings, some of them set maddeningly close to each other.  There were some spots I ended up re-doing three or four times.

Once I got to the point where I was satisfied with the paint job, I was more than happy to start the flocking.

I stumbled across some very fine sand among my stash of flocking and used that for most of the base to represent the streets and alleys.  To represent adverse terrain, especially on and around the hill, I used a variety Gale Force Nine's small, medium and large sand flocking.

(A look at the hill an the various grades of sand flocking)

I wanted to add a splash of color other than various shades of brown and khaki, so I added grass to represent weeds clinging to the shaded areas of the village, along with a walled garden using meadow grass.

(A garden among weeds, sand and rocks)

 Since this was an involved project, I wanted to give my new-found village a name. 

Originally, I was going to go with a "dung theme," like I did for SAGA Welsh warband, which became the centerpiece for The Chronicles of Culhwch y Drewllyd.

Using Google to translate words and terms, the village was initially going to be Jamal Hall Qry, or Camel Dung Village in Arabic.

But after reading some Star Wars related material, and thinking of a desert setting, I was reminded of Obi Wan Kenobi's comment about Mos Eisley in Star Wars:

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

So my village went from being Jamal Hall to Radi Khalia, or Wretched Hive.

But I didn't like how it sounded.  I thought it would sound better if "Khalia" came first.

When I plugged the word order change into Google, I came up with something slightly different:

Khaliat Min Bus, or Hive of Wretchedness.

I liked how this sounded, both in Arabic and English.

(An Israeli squad enters the village.  What will they encounter?)

 Now that my village is painted, flocked and "properly named," I like the versatility of Ray Sam's work. 

Khaliat Min Bus could conceivably be found in any era, or on any desolate world--maybe even in a galaxy far, far away...

(Reinforcements arrive to investigate Khaliat Min Bus)

Honest Trailers - Star Wars

With less than a month to go before The Force Awakens, the folks at Screen Junkies has provided us with an Honest Trailer of Star Wars "...the first one..."

While this Honest Trailer is an amusing look back, I hope The Force Awakens meets, or better yet, exceeds our expectations.

Product Review: Axis & Allies WWI 1914

Years ago, I played a few games of Axis & Allies (originally part of Milton Bradley's Gamemaster Series).

I enjoyed both the original game and the new versions produced by Wizards of the Coast.

But I've held off on buying any of the World War II strategy games.  The miniatures, especially the War at Sea, are another matter.

Anyway, my wife and I made another trip to a second Half Price Books store on Sunday before Veterans Day.  In the game section, I stumbled across a copy of Axis & Allies WWI 1914 on sale for $50.

I hesitated on buying it because the box top had quite a divot in it, which often happens when you stack smaller and heavier boxes on a such a large box.

Despite the divot, I decided to buy this game, primarily because I had a 50% off the most expensive item coupon.

And I made sure this was the most expensive item my wife and I bought.

There was one of the later versions of the World War II game, Axis & Allies Europe 1940, available but I wasn't interested in that.  I felt a Risk-style game of The Great War felt more "appropriate" somehow than any of the World War II versions.

Besides, I only had one 50% off coupon.

The only thing cooler than getting a $69--$145 game for $25 would have been if I purchased it at 11 AM on November 11th, "...when the guns fell silent."

As to the game itself, Axis & Allies WWI 1914 gets a good review, 7.18 out of 10 stars, on Boardgame Geek.

There are 8 storage boxes for each of the factions representing the Allies (5) and Central Powers (3).  It took me less than two hours to do some additional bagging.  Not having to punch out the cardboard counters also helped. 

The only issue I have with the playing pieces are with the cruiser and transport ships.  Their thin, and with my copy they're slightly bent, which I don't think is due to the game being second-hand.  This makes these vessels more likely to "capsize" on the playing board.  The larger battleships are wider and therefore more "sea worthy."

I haven't played this game yet, and want to before the 100-Year Anniversary of the Great War comes to a close.

Hey, I'm lucky if I get a chance to play a handful of games per year.

Anyway, since I don't have any experience yet on playing the game, here's Neptune Underground's First Look at Axis & Allies WWI 1914.

Well, good, bad, or indifferent, I'm happy to add this game to the handful of Great War naval games I own.

I don't know if I'll by any more World War I games.  For now, I think I'll steer clear of the "mud, blood and poetry" of the tabletop trenches.

Product Review: World War Z, The Boardgame

I'm not a fan of horror, but oddly enough I like Zombie Apocalypse-style games.  I currently own most sets of Zombies!!!, the Last Night on Earth, along with a few expansions; and All Things Zombie.

So when my wife and I were out shopping last weekend I snatched up a copy of World War Z The Game by University Games.

The map is a Risk-like version of the world used to regulate the player's movement and the spread of the Zombie Plague.  The cards and cardboard playing pieces are decently made for the type of game this represents.  The rule booklet is only a half-a-dozen pages, so the game can't be too complicated to learn.

What irked me though was the Parcheesi-style tokens the players are suppose to use.

Seriously?

University Games couldn't think of something cooler to represent the players?

This isn't the only problem with the game, but I don't feel like wasting blog space about it.  Here's Mitch Lav with a scathing review about this game in particular, and movie tie-in games in general.

Overall, World War Z couldn't even get past the half-way point (5 out of 10 stars) in terms of ratings.

The raters on  Amazon were somewhat more generous giving the game an average rating of 3 out of 5 stars.

Despite the low opinion gamers have of this movie tie-in game, I'm rather happy with my purchase.

Why?

Well, for two reasons.

First, I often buy boardgames with an eye on using them for something other than the game itself.  In this, case World War Z would make a good campaign map, or situation map, for any of the Zombie Apocalypse games I mentioned earlier.

Second, and most important:  I found the game on the Clearance Shelf at Half Price Books--for $3.  Make that $3.29 with sales tax.

Hey, $3.29 for a poorly designed game?  I've spent far more than this on dumber things.

World War Z is currently going for anywhere between $5 to $16.99 on the Boardgame Geek Marketplace; or $7.77 to $32.54 on E-bay.

There are 0 bids so far, I might add.

But no matter how cheap you buy it on-line, you'd still have to pay for shipping & handling (S&H).

Best to troll through discount stores, or keep an eye out for gamers having garage sales.

Pigsty or Hill Fort?

I found several of these pieces at one end of Monday Knight Productions' 6 millimeter (mm) figures on display during the final hours of Enfilade! 

 

Or at least I thought they were among the 6mm figures.  I didn't have my reading glasses on and I assumed they were medieval hill forts. 

 

When I started painting them, while wearing my reading glasses and using a stand-up magnifying glass, I began to wonder if they were any type of fortification at all. 

 

As I applied the burnt umber for natural wood, light brown for cut, or trimmed wood, and with a final splash of brown wash, these pieces began to look more like animal pens than defensive positions.

 

What compounded this mystery was I couldn't find the exact model on any of their website pages.  While this is most likely due to "operator error," the closest link I could find was to 28mm, Dark Ages pigpen. 

 

The pieces I have, however, are smaller and cost half as much as the pigpens listed.

 

Anyway, at 6mm along with aging eyesight, who's to say a pigsty can't fill-in for a hasty defensive position.

 

Besides, in light of this past Veterans Day, many combat veterans would probably tell you they're one in the same.

 

 

Another thing I finally got around to noticing was that three of my pieces were identical.  So instead of dousing them grass flocking, I made one with autumn foliage and the third with winter snow.

 

For the dirt and gravel, I used Gale Force Nine's fine gravel flock, which still looks large when used for 6mm figures.

 

Here's what one of them looks like place in front of a back drop:

 

A close-up of Fort Pigsty:

 

A company of men-at-arms, (circa 13th Century I think), approach Fort Pigsty:

Fort Pigsty's new garrison: 

A garrison close-up:

 

 Well, no matter what these pieces are really suppose to be, I enjoyed painting and flocking them and like how they turned out.

 

An aside note: 

 

For the past several posts, Blogger has been aligning my posts in the center.  No matter how many times I go back to a post and re-align it to the left margin, once I hit Save and Publish, the site re-re-aligns my work back to the center.

 

At this point I don't know what's causing it, or how to correct it.

 

I apologize if you find my center-aligned posts annoying

 

I certainly do.

Honoring Veterans Day

(Image found on Pintrest)

Bivouacs

(Medium tents, two bases with a front view and one with a rear view)

As a tribute to this upcoming Veteran's Day, I thought I'd post about a subject many veterans are familiar with:  Tents.

These 6mm variety of tents on bases, were made by Sven's Sculpts, via Monday Knight Productions.

(1x medium tent and 6 x small tent bases, side view)

I purchased three bases of medium tents, and three of the 1 x medium tent and 6 x small tents during my Enfilade! fly-by.

(The same 1 x M/6 x S, bases with a front view)

The tents were painted khaki, while the openings were painted black.  I painted the bases brown, but added fine gravel flock from Gale Force Nine.  

I think the term "fine" to define the gravel is in relation to larger figures, such as 25mm (millimeter), because the flocking looks rather large for 6mm.

Well, large or fine, I guess the trick is not to look at these too closely.  I chose gravel over grass assuming the areas around each tent would be heavily trafficked.

During my brief sojourn to Enfilade, I didn't see any bases with the Sibley Tents, otherwise I would have picked up a few of those as well.

(A mountain camp manned by men-at-arms)

Power Station or Shield Generator

(Even a "wretched hive of scum and villainy" needs to get its power from somewhere)

Up until I caught a cold several days ago, I've been slowly chipping-away at my pile of figures, buildings and terrain pieces.  

Just before I came down with my cold I managed to finish four sets of buildings.

The first here is a 6mm (millimeter, or 1/285th scale) resin power station made by Monday Knight Productions, which I bought during my "fly-by" at this year's Enfilade!

(A look down at the generator turbines)

I painted the structure several shades of grey--just not 50 of them--along with a few additional colors for highlighting doorways and windows.  I added what little I had left of my Ash Waste Flock from Gale Force Nine, to add some texture to the base.  To highlight the stonework on the building, I applied a brown wash.  

I chose brown, because being a novice at this, I'm still having trouble applying black.  Every time I've applied black, I end up turning the entire figure black. 

So I didn't want to take a chance with my power station.

(A look down at the operations/maintenance building)

While the good folks at Monday Knight call this a power station, who's to say this can't substitute for something else, like the DSS-02 shield generator used by the "rebel scum" on Hoth.

The trick for the owning players will be to keep the facility from meeting the same fate...

(Image from:  Star Wars Wikia, Battle of Hoth)

The Best Halloween Treat of 2015

(Image from:  Starbucks)

 

We thought we were prepared for the onslaught of trick-or-treaters this year. We had a Costco-sized bag of candy with nearly 170 name-brand chocolate treats in it.

And we ran out.

 

Part of this was due to the assumption we made that the bad weather we were experiencing would deter many of the trick-or-treaters (heavy rain, with flood watches and warnings in effect).  So instead of handing out one itsy-bitsy piece of candy, we handed out two.  But the trick-or-treaters kept knocking on our door and we were running out of candy--fast.

 

But even when I limited the candy give-away to one piece, we were still rapidly approaching candy bankruptcy.

 

After I handed out the last morsels, I resorted to handing out Starbucks cocoa packets, about 2 dozen of them by the time the last trick-or-treater knocked on our door.

And you know what?

 

The cocoa, which was the salted caramel flavor, turned out to be the most popular treat.

Kids would run back to their parents squealing in delight, "I GOT COCOA! I GOT COCOA!"

I'm guessing we had over 124 trick-or-treaters. My wife's daughter had 318 come to her door (she actually counted).

 

Maybe next year I'll just hand out cocoa packets.

 

(Image from:  News&Views)

 

PNWA 2015 Workshop Review #13: The Five Stages of Editing

(Image found on:  The Smell of Books)

This "Lucky 13" workshop was the last session I attended during this year's writer's conference.  Normally, I'd try to post this within the first few weeks afterwards, but this year's fire season was a doozy.

 

At least I finished before the year was out.

 

Let's face it, every manuscript needs a little editing...



(Image, Peanuts by Charles Schulz, found on The Word Nest)

...okay, maybe lots of editing.

Anyway, this workshop was hosted by A.C. Fuller, who provided a succinct presentation on how to edit more effectively.

Editing is an essential part of the writing process, and since writing is art, and art comes from...

(This image was used by Fuller in her presentation, which I found on Passages North)

 

...well, never mind. 

 

Just remember there's no correct way to edit.

 

So apply what works for you.

 

But one of the issues that holds us back from editing our work is procrastination.  This "creative avoidance" comes in six flavors:

 

1. Feeling overwhelmed.

2. Feeling of rebellion.

3. Lacking motivation.

4. Fatigue, or lack of focus.

5. Fear of the unknown.

6. Perfectionism.

 

Fuller suggested using the following Five Stages of Editing to overcome your inner critic.

 

 

(Image found on Lighted Path Coaching)

 

These are:

 

1. Relaxing.

2. Reading.

3. Restructuring.

4. Rewriting.

5. Refining.

 

After the introductory material, Miss Fuller explained each stage in detail.

 

 1. Relaxing

 

Take time off from your first draft.  How much time can vary.

This will give you an opportunity to look at your work differently.

However, don't stop writing.  Just write other stuff.

 

2. Reading

 

Read your book from cover to cover.

You don't know everything on what your book is about while writing the first draft, so you could make some additional discoveries.

 

a. How to read your book

 

Read in a different format in order to trick your brain.

Read having a pen and notebook handy so you can jot down notes.

Read fast!  Don't get bogged down in editing details yet.

Be realistic about your first draft, but don't get discouraged.

 

b. Reading notes/what to look for--

 

--plot holes/info holes

--incomplete scenes

--weak characters

--scenes or chapters that are too long

--inconsistent flow of the story

--areas to improve on characters and conflict

 

The lowest priority at this stage is checking for typos or grammatical errors.

Also, do not try to fix anything yet, just annotate what needs fixing.

 

3. Restructuring

 

This is the most important stage.

This is where you put the book together.

 

 

a. Plan your first revision

 

Write a list of edits on your notes.

Organize your list of edits from the biggest issues to the smallest.

Have faith that making your edits one by one will improve your book.

 

b. Restructuring includes--

 

--Moving scenes, or changing chapters around.

--Adding/deleting chapters, or scenes.

--Rewriting characters.

--Rewriting portions of the story line.

--Significantly lengthening or shortening the story.

 

Keep in mind, you may have to go through this stage two, three, or multiple times.

 

4. Rewriting

 

Enlist the help of beta readers.

You want the readers to experience the flow of the story.

 

A common mistake is that writers often skip Stages 1, 2 and 3, and start the editing process at this stage

 

Try to learn your own writing tendencies.

 

a. Common problems, or tendencies--

 

--Passive voice, which leads to 15% longer sentences.

--Over use of "it was," and "there were" constructions.

--Word repetition and mixed metaphors.

--Thought repetition and redundancy.

--Telling instead of showing.

--Shifts in point of view (POV).

--Vague writing.

 

b. How to rewrite

 

--Read out loud.

--Use your computer's search function.

--Get others to read your story.

--Hire an editor.

 

And now we finally come to where a lot of folks think the editing process starts...

 

5. Refining

 

This is where we fix the typos, grammar, style and check for consistency.

 

 

So that's it for this year's PNWA 2015 Workshop Review. 

 

I hope you enjoyed these, best wishes to you and your writing endeavors!

 

Happy Halloween!

(Image found on r2 Games Forum Happy Halloween!)

PNWA 2015 Workshop Review #12: Using Language to Enhance Story

(Image from:  Last Kiss by John Lustig)

One of the main reasons why I love comics and graphic novels is how the blend of words and pictures can tell a story.  Even a one-panel image, like the one above, implies a lot.  I liked how a common expression is paired with a gothic image for comedic effect--not to mention being in the spirit of Halloween.

Anyway, the title of the next-to-last workshop I attended at this year's PNWA Summer Conference my seem self explanatory. 

However, even if you string words together in a coherent manner your narrative may turn out to be as exciting as a technical manual.

Varying language, sometimes by bending, or even breaking grammatical rules could enhance your work.

This workshop was the second one in the conference hosted byTerry Persun and Nicole Persun.

True, the father and daughter duo didn't discuss graphic novels.  However, I found it beneficial listening to Terry and Nicole read select passages from the piles of books they brought as examples on how you can mold words more creatively to create a more vivid mental imagery.

Terry even read from a cookbook.

Who'd a thought making mashed potatoes could be so poetic?

It was impossible to write down all the prose, and I even forgot to scribble down the authors' works they read from. 

I did manage to jot down some keynotes to keep in mind if you decide make alterations to grammatical rules...

No matter what you write, or how you write it, without your work you have nothing to market.

Varying your language usage can affect a story's pacing, characterization and plot.

Make use of foreshadowing, that is, give a hint at what's to come.

You can sprinkle a leitmotif, that is, a recurring idea or image, throughout your story.

Use of fragment sentences--

--Used to focus on an image.

--Focus on emotions.

--Convey the spanning of time.

Long sentences can be--

--Used for lengthy descriptions, which gives flavor to the setting.

--Can be action-based, especially when describing complicated movement.

--Can convey thought.

While short sentences--

--Emphasis on what is currently happening.

--Often appears as dialogue, and can be used as such.

Repeated words--

--Brings the reader closer to the scene.

--Can be used to overlap descriptions, to reinforce imagery.

--Establishes a rhythm.

Most writing instructions recommend banishing adverbs from your work.  However, if done properly, adverbs can set the tone of your story.

Use descriptions specific to each character.

One final word of advice:

If your style is out of the ordinary, be sure to talk to your agent/editor and express your concerns about wordage.

In the meantime, continue writing and Happy Halloween!

(Image from:  Last Kiss by John Lustig)